Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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