Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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