I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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