I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
