OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
