Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
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I just found a bag of teeth...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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