I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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