I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
are you so shy because you have an std?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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