He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
