respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
