Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Terrible idea I love it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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