My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize