So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
