First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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