look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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