to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize