1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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