Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
