How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
