I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize