There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
