if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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