Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
