I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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