so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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