True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
is that a dick in a sweater?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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