I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize