I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
