She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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