she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
