she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize