i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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