i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
