Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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