I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
