We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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