So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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