I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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