I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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