so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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