I think my vagina is haunted
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
