The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
