he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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