fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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