We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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