Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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