Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
