I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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