WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
