You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Drunk is not a location!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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