She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
