Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
