Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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