Sry I called you an 8
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
