I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
