i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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