You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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