Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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