I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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