Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
