next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
