I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize